By: LAILA CHAPRA
A gender-neutral environment for children refers to upbringing practices that avoid imposing traditional gender roles upon a child. This includes using gender-neutral language, offering a mix of toys and clothes regardless of gender, and even using genderneutral pronouns until a child self-identifies. The aim is to let children explore interests and identities without the constraints of societal gender pressures and certain expectations that can be imposed on them. On one side, many in Western liberal democracies argue that gender-neutral upbringing promotes equality and personal freedom. On the other hand, traditional viewpoints, which are usually found in areas that follow traditions more rigidly, for example the Middle East, Eastern Europe, or
Asia, caution against or reject gender-neutral parenting on social, or religious grounds.
The first major point supporting the argument that children should be brought up in a gender neutral environment is that it promotes equality amongst children from an early age. Proponents argue that when children are not confined to a certain gender expectation, which they are “labelled” (Skaggs, 2024) too for instance, “ boy” and “girl” they develop more well balanced attitudes towards others and can pursue a plethora of wide interests without having the pressure of conforming to society’s social constructs. Evidence from a study by researchers at Uppsala University (Sweden) compared children in gender-neutral preschools to those in traditional preschools. The findings, published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology (2017), showed that children attending the gender-neutral program had less rigid gender stereotypes and were more interested in playing with peers of the opposite sex. These children were proven to be less likely to gender-stereotype and were relatively more socially inclusive. A press release by Uppsala University explained that the “norm-conscious” practices (like avoiding gendered language and mixing toys) were “associated with reductions in children’s tendencies to make gender-stereotypical assumptions” and increased interest in playing with unfamiliar peers of the opposite gender. This source is highly credible: it reports on peer-reviewed research and comes from a reputable university. Moreover, the reasoning is grounded in data from an experimental study (80 children, ages 3-6), making it objective evidence rather than opinion ,while the sample was relatively small. The study, however, is not recent (2017) and does not provide concrete statistical data to support that gender-neutral practices can diminish stereotypes in early childhood.
Further corroborating this argument, broader research indicates that rigid gender norms can have harmful effects on children’s well-being. A 2017 international study (Global Early Adolescent Study, led by Johns Hopkins University and WHO) found that by the time a child reaches adolescence, strict gender expectations are linked to increased risks of mental and physical health problems which include: depression, violence, and even suicide (Shutts et al, 2017). This study spanned 15 countries, amongst both liberal and conservative societies, and highlighted that worldwide, children internalize stereotypes; for example, “girls are vulnerable, boys must be strong by age 10-14, with harmful consequences. The source, published as a series of articles in the Journal of Adolescent Health (2017), is credible and objective as it’s a comprehensive, cross-cultural study by public health experts. It reasons that breaking out of this “gender straitjacket” early could reduce those potential but very likely lifelong risks. The fact that this was a global study adds weightage to the argument: if rigid gender roles are damaging in diverse cultures, then raising children in a gender-neutral way could be beneficial universally. Overall, both sources suggest that a gender-neutral environment can foster egalitarianism and reduce prejudice from a young age, supporting the argument that this approach benefits children and society.
Secondly, proponents of gender neutral upbringing argue that raising children in a gender-neutral manner also contributes to their personal growth by enabling them to freely explore their identity and hobbies, which can improve their emotional health. According to an article by Hanna (2019), parents who raised their children in a way that was gender-inclusive said that their children felt more at ease with who they were. Hanna is an academic specializing in teacher education and professional identity development. He has contributed to research on measuring and understanding the multifaceted nature of teacher identity, including the development of instruments like the Teacher Identity Measurement Scale (TIMS), making his opinion in this matter one of high regard. Advocates contend that children can grow up with a greater sense of self if they are not informed that particular toys they play with, colours they wear, or jobs are “off limits” for their gender. Additionally, they assert that this method does not mislead children about their gender and identity, despite the concerns of critics mentioned within this article (ibid) . Positive results are reported by many parents who use genderneutral parenting techniques by what Hanna has claimed.
In one interview reported through Vice, a mother explained that her eight-year-old, raised without strict gender roles, “doesn’t get confused about her own gender identity. ‘She is a girl… but she also loves stuff that, according to our society, “boys like” — that’s it.’”(ibid)The child knows she is a girl, yet feels free to enjoy activities like football or playing with “Batman” toys, which traditionally might be discouraged for girls. Another parent, who is raising a son in a gender-neutral way, echoed that allowing kids to follow their interests has made her child comfortable and happy: “I just want him to be happy and feel comfortable in his own skin,” she said, noting that her son sometimes wears dresses and is not distressed or confused by pronoun mix-ups. (Hanna et al., 2019). He even experimented with gender-neutral pronouns and then decided they weren’t for him, indicating a healthy self-exploration of his gender according to Hanna.
These anecdotes come from a 2019 Vice article by Bo Hanna, which featured interviews with both parents and children who experienced gender-neutral upbringing. While anecdotal, the piece provides first-hand/qualitative data and also consults psychology lecturers (Dr. Ben Kenward) involved in related research which talks about children’s poorer social development due to parents who do not respond to their child’s needs .The source’s credibility is satisfactory : Vice is a well-known media outlet, and the author cites external studies and expert commentary. It is somewhat subjective (focused on personal stories), but it presents multiple perspectives (including noting critics’ claims and then refuting them with lived experiences). The timing (2019) makes it relatively up-to-date with current social attitudes.
Beyond individual anecdotes, some schools and institutions in liberal societies are adopting gender-neutral practices for the benefit of children. In the UK, for example, dozens of schools have implemented gender-neutral uniform policies, showing that Hannas position is clearly supported by dozens of schools in the UK . They allow all children to choose skirts or trousers as they prefer. This change was done in part by awareness that a portion of youth experience discomfort with strictly gendered expectations- an issue that can lead to severe distress or even higher suicide (shutts et al,2017).
The first opponent of the argument is that gender-neutral environments clash with longstanding traditional values. In Pakistan, gender-neutral parenting often clashes with long-standing religious and cultural values. In traditional Islamic societies, boys and girls are raised to fulfill distinct roles – boys as providers and leaders, girls as nurturers and homemakers.(Zakar et al., 2022). These expectations are reinforced through both parenting norms and religious doctrine. (ibid) found that many Pakistani parents view deviation from these roles as dishonourable or harmful to family cohesion. Their qualitative study revealed that gender distinctions are embedded in parenting as a way to preserve societal harmony and religious virtue (ibid). This aligns with Islamic scholarship from the Yaqeen Institute, which argues that Islamic ethics promote equity through complementary roles rather than sameness. It maintains that blurring these roles through gender-neutral practices disrupts the natural balance and religious order (Nasir, 2019). As such, many muslim families perceive gender-neutral parenting as not just culturally foreign but morally problematic.
A similar sentiment that helps corroborate this can be found in the Philippines, a religious and culturally conservative nation. In an article on parenting trends, a Filipino mother expressed strong opposition to gender-neutral upbringing, asserting that “there are only two genders,” and describing gender-fluid parenting as “a fad” contrary to science and faith (Cruz, 2024). This illustrates broader cultural resistance across traditional societies, where gender roles are seen as essential to the upbringing of children. In both cases, parents fear that removing gender guidance confuses children and weakens societal values.
The Pakistani perspective is drawn from a peer-reviewed study on local norms (Zakar et al., 2022). lending it credibility and objectivity. The study’s academic rigor means it reliably captures how Pakistani culture socializes children by gender, though it does not directly evaluate gender-neutral parenting – a limitation that leaves the specific consequences somewhat implied rather than measured. The Islamic viewpoint comes from the Yaqeen Institute, a scholarly Muslim platform. While authoritative on religious doctrine, it is inherently normative and advocates a faith-based stance, which might limit its objectivity for broader social science conclusions. The Philippine example is from 2024. article featuring real parents’ opinions.
This source provides a candid, on-the-ground corroboration of cultural resistance. It is a high-quality lifestyle publication giving voice to local sentiments.Together, however, these sources consistently indicate a cultural/religious incompatibility with genderneutral parenting in traditional societies.
Moreover, critics argue that gender-neutral parenting can harm children’s identity development. In cultures where social systems, schools, and peer interactions remain gendered, children raised without a clear sense of gender may struggle to integrate or form a stable identity. According to child development specialists (Mrunal, 2024), raising children without defined gender roles can lead to social alienation, and even bullying in environments where peers conform to binary norms especially in societies that are more conservative. These risks challenge the assumption that neutrality always benefits the child. The warnings about identity confusion come from FirstCry Parenting (Mrunal, 2024), an Indian parenting resource that compiles expert opinions and research on child-rearing.It is a reputable site for parenting advice in South Asia. The information is presented accessible and is likely based on psychological expertise, lending it credibility for practical insights; however, it provides broad generalizations. To conclude, while I began supporting gender-neutral parenting, assuming it was universally beneficial, considering opposing cultural and religious viewpoints in particular from Pakistan it helped me to develop a more cohesive and neutral understanding of the argument. I now realise that although gender-neutral environments can diminish gender based stigmas and support children’s emotional health, their implementation must be suitable and sensitive to the context they exist in which can differ from society to society. Reflecting upon this has helped me appreciate that progress socially in societies cannot ignore traditional or faith-based values, especially in conservative societies. Academic and anecdotal sources from both liberal and traditional segments of society strengthened my ability to evaluate both opposing arguments impartially. It also reinforced the significance of cultural relativism in international debate on this matter. For further research, I would explore how genderneutral parenting is being integrated in transitional societies that are undergoing social modernisation without fully negating tradition that is deeply rooted in society. This would provide more practical insight into whether such liberal techniques can succeed beyond the Western context and under what conditions they would be the most effective.
Bibliography
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